Women all have their own tastes on what they are looking for in a man. As one pointed out to me, “some look at the curves, others at the skin, another at the muscles, and others at the heart!” Just because a woman is a Christian doesn’t change her tastes appearance wise, but as I’ve noticed it’s certainly changes her tastes character wise.
This week I’ve went around and asked about a dozen Christian women of various ages and backgrounds (single and married) what they were looking for in a man. I’ll share with you my findings and thoughts in bullet points.
- The man must be a Christian – Unanimously every woman said a man must first have a believing faith with Jesus Christ. Whether or not he was more or less spiritually mature than the woman was open to debate. Nor was his old life before conversion a roadblock toward their relationship
- I always think about the necessity of choosing only Christian spouses when I read 2 Corinthians 6:14. It’s also Christ-like to overlook another’s past and not hold them against it. No marriage will last without a constant flow of forgiveness. On the other hand, some believe that marrying a Christian man even if he is a new/young believer is fine because the female/God can make him spiritually mature later on. I think this is very dangerous. Marriage only gives a man and a woman the license to try to grow together, but it does not guarantee. If he’s not Godly now, he’s not going to be later. The right thing is that both male and female both walk with the Lord and share the same vision to honor Christ. “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?” – Amos 3:3
- The man must be a Leader – not necessarily a leader in the church, but a leader in the home. That is to say that he demonstrates Christ-like qualities toward his own family as well as friends around him. Following Ephesians 5 these questions are evaluated: “Is he harsh or loving? Is he domineering or gentle? Is he proud or humble? Is he a momma’s boy or is he independent” If a man is to manage a home and children, he is to so by leading well.
- Guys you might not hear this on the pulpit but a majority (although not all) of Christian women deep down inside want to be lead. They don’t want to take the reigns and are happy to submit toward an authority figure they can trust. The way I read it is in passages such as Genesis 3:16 and Ephesians 5:22-23 in that God has divinely ordained it that way. As a man, if you have no aspirations in life, no interest in earning income, no record of faithful service, no meekness in your walk, then its time to repent and start building that rapport again.
- The man must be physically attractive – I was surprised that every woman agreed that the man must be ideally taller than her or at least not shorter (exceptions abound). However things that were subjective were his race, physical features, choice of clothing, athleticism, and mannerisms.
- It seems to me that the height issue is largely cultural. If you notice that the media always portrays tall males with short women as happy couples. I think its a bit shallow, but us males are guilty of stereotyping too. Males are taller on the average than women anyways. If you’re short (5’6) like me, then you’re going to have a tough time impressing a taller woman whether you like it or not.
Briefly, here are things Christian women are NOT looking for in a man – whether he had a stable job, obsessive hobbies (especially video games, many vehemently hated gamers), obesity, whether he owned a car, and the size of his muscles.
Next week, I’ll be reversing the topic and posting my findings on “3 things Christian men look for in women”. If you’re a guy and want to post your thoughts for next week, drop me a note either on Sunday or at Tyndale.
Do you agree or disagree? Please leave a comment below.