Never such a thing as free porn

The plain reality is that more than 70% of men and 30% of women struggle with pornography.  And it’s even more common that those who are struggling with it do so in secret.  It doesn’t matter if you’re married or single, Christian or non-Christian, clergy or non-clergy, I’ve seen pornography addiction hit people of all demographics, shapes, and sizes.  I’m going to be speaking mainly toward the males, and I apologize in advance for not being able to speak about the female side of  things.  I’m actually more surprised to find men who really don’t struggle with it than those who admit that they do.  I’m certain that the battle against lust is every man’s battle, and I’m no exception.  The drug of pornography has destroyed more households than any other substance that I can think of.  It’s symptoms are undetectable, it’s relational effects are devastating, and it costs virtually nothing other than an internet connection and a bit of privacy.  I would call it a gateway drug that leads into more “harder”, darker substances.  If the struggle is real for you, I want to bring a message of warning, instruction, and most importantly, hope.

I can identify.  My struggle with pornography started when I was in high school carried over into my university years.  Being internet savvy just made things more accessible and worse.  I knew all the “tricks of the trade” and experienced the age of snail modem to blazingly fast cable speeds we have today.  At the same time, I switched churches and God brought me face to face with honest men who struggled in the same area.  These brothers in Christ I knew I could trust, as they didn’t ostracize me as I had feared.  Rather, we laboured together in memorizing/trusting the word of God and embracing our addictions as signposts that we were fallen sinners, in need of a great saviour.   For the past 7 years I’ve experienced complete freedom.  I’ve never had a craving since, and I wouldn’t be fit for ministry if I did.  To be completely freed is an act of God’s grace and it came progressively rather than instantaneously.  I want to share that you need to come clean and open up with those you can trust.  To see that pornography is only a symptom of a greater problem, that you are not trusting in the Lord to satisfy your needs.  Attacking this underlying root is the real way to solve the overarching symptoms.

First – the warning.  If you’re hiding, Numbers 32:23 says – “But if you fail to do this, you will be sinning against the LORD; and you may be sure that your sin will find you out.”  Did you get that?  Be sure that your sin will find you out, and it I guarantee you pornography addiction WILL come back to bite you.  There’s never such a thing as free porn.  If you’re engaged, you’re fiance will find out.  If you’re married, you’re kids will be affected.  If you’re single, you’re integrity is compromised.  It will make you more desensitized, more inhumane, and will downward spiral you into criminal activity, given enough time and exposure.  When you do get caught red handed, the pain will be that much more worse than if you came clean now.  Your sin will find you out.

Second – the confession.  Many men think that if they get on their knees and say a heartfelt prayer that it is good enough.  It will do you no good if you confess your sins to the Lord and yet make no effort to confess your addictions to another Christian.  You deny the words of 1 John 1:7-9 – “But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”   To confess to another close Christian brother/sister is to walk in the light.  To tell them “I’m doing good” when deep down inside you are not is simply a farce.  It is not walking in the light.  It’s called “putting up a front”.  It’s called protecting your reputation out of fear of what someone may think of you.  Or being so ashamed that you don’t want anyone to know what you do in private.  Confess your sins to one another, walk in the light.

Third – being satisfied with God.  400 years ago a theologian said that in order to replace an old affection you must replace it with a greater affection.  Pornography is no different.  You have to replace the pleasure of pornography with a greater desire, that which is God.

piper2-707691-1

John Piper, currently the most popular preacher who focuses on the topic of making God our greatest desire.  Before him was C.S. Lewis, Jonathan Edwards, and Augustine.  His sermons and writings are very practical on how to make Christ our joy and he makes many comments on the issue of pornography.

There’s a lot that goes into bringing the joy of the Lord.  I’d say that bible memorization, prayer, humility, fellowship, and evangelizing are the pillars, but I’m not going to go deep here.  But what I am to say is that we can easily replace pornography with desires that are just as equally destructive if Christ is not the center – youtubing, video games, movies, sports, exercise, and food just to name a few distractions.  Jesus warned us that not properly replacing one demon can infest a house with 7 others! (Matthew 12:45).  We need to make Christ our joy rather than all the other trinkets we have in life.  As good as they can be, they need to be taken in moderation.

If you’re struggling, I pray that you will begin that step of faith to begin walking in the light, as Jesus is in the light.  There’s a “contact” link if you click the top right button and you can share me your struggles if you need someone to open up to about this.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s